Week 18 - Day 2 - 26.2 Miles

"When we run we are showing our children, teaching without words, that we value ourselves, our hearts, our fitness, our health, our friendships, our clarity, and our balance. They see us push, and with every stride, they learn a measure of what it is to prepare for their own races." - Kristin Armstrong


It's 5:25am and I have eaten my oatmeal and drunk a little water.  Now it's digestion time.  My stomach is so nervous.  I spent most of yesterday feeling like I was about to sing the national anthem for the Super Bowl.  My tummy was in turmoil.  I'm feeling similar this morning.  The adrenaline is pumping.  My clothes are laid out, my bib ready to be pinned on, my goo packed up, iPhone charged....here we go!


4:06pm and I am in bed with ice on my knees after a hot shower.  Mission accomplished!  We finished in just over 5 hours with an average pace of 11:49.  This is my personal record on everything, just as it should be.  The race itself was just what I expected although I did start to get sore much sooner than I hoped I would.  At around 12 miles I was hurting and worried.  But just as in every training long run, I kept running, looking into the distance and engaging my force of will to keep moving.  The weather was perfection and just what I ordered, low 60's with cloud coverage and a little misting rain here and there.  I feel very grateful that there was no downpour.


The best part of the marathon was definitely the local support.  There were tons of people cheering us on, almost through the entire race.  Our names were printed on our bibs so were able to call to us by name.


"You are doing great Deborah!!"
"Way to go Deborah!!"
"Almost there Deborah, you can do it!!"


It was incredible to feel the support of complete strangers.


I ran today with Keri, I felt her presence beside me and her encouragement in my heart.  I miss her every day and I still can't understand why she was taken from this Earth so soon.  I know she would have been running me with today had her life not been cut short.  I will be forever grateful for the short period of time that my life intersected with hers.  She passed on so much to me, especially her love of running and her commitment to herself.  I love you Keri, and I miss you every day.


In the course of this journey I have run a total of 451.66 miles.  I have have run the distance from San Jose, CA to San Diego CA.  But more meaningful then the distance I have covered, is the transformation I have experienced from a self-diagnosed slug to an extreme athlete.  I never thought I would ever find the strength of will to run a marathon but there it was all along, hiding deep down in my soul, waiting for an opportunity to shine.


I don't know what comes next.  I am considering running the Napa Valley marathon in April.  I can only imagine how beautiful it would be to run though CA wine country in the Spring.  I love the idea of traveling to beautiful places to run and experience sites and smells I would normally drive past in a car.  There is a lot of ground to cover out there and the idea of it excites me and fills me with challenge.


However, today it is time to rest...

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 4.02 Miles

Total Time: 42:59

Pace: 10:42

Sound Track : Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Run Rating : 5

Week 18 - Day 1 - 4 Miles

"In the marathon, I have this mentality: I say, "All right, I'm going to start and when I get to 26.2 I'm going to quit." I look at it like a car race. A race is 500 miles long, and it's not over until 500 miles, so no matter how you feel, you have to race 'til the end." - Michael Waltrip, race car driver (this quote is for you Dad)


Today will probably be my last pre-race run.  Realistically I won't get back out till race day.  I am hoping I might squeeze in another 3 miles but the pain in my heal is getting worse so I am afraid to push it. The run was sweet, simple, short and relaxing.  I have definitely crossed over into the "need to run to stay sane" category of athlete.  It has become a solace and I love the time to listen to a book and move my body.  The trail near Oaks Park where I have done the majority of my runs has become a second home to me.  I know every crevice, ever bit of fence, every tree and every gorgeous view of the river.  I have photographed most of it. It has become a place of peace.


I feel a sense of calm.  I know that I have put in the time and I have no doubts that I will finish.  


See you on the flip side...

Week 17 - Day 2 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 6.00 Miles

Total Time: 1:08:15

Pace: 11:22

Sound Track : Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Run Rating : 5

Week 17 - Day 2 - 6 Miles

"I don't race to bolster my ego or image. For me, ultrarunning is about self-discovery. I learn new things and get glimpses of what makes me tick." Scott Jurek, ultramarathoner 


Today's run was cake. I ran six miles, barely broke a sweat.  Yes, I am getting cocky.


I believe I am ready. 

Week 17 - Day 1 - Stats

Location: River Loop from PDX Opera

Distance: 4.01 Miles

Total Time: 44:21

Pace: 11:04

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins, Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Run Rating : 3.5

Week 17 - Day 1 - 4 Miles

"If I can't run, I'd go crazy. Running cleanses me. It cures me." - Roger Craig, former NFL running back


My recovery from my last long run was the least painful yet!  This is good news, it means my body is getting used to the abuse it has taken.  So far I have lost a toenail, tweaked my knee and bruised my heal.  There are also many raw spots on my neck and backside from the rubbing of my clothing while running.  It is amazing how I do not feel any of it when I am running but then I come home and see huge red spots in those areas.  This time I managed to rub a bloody spot on my neck, I assume from my jacket.  


Today I ran around the river after a work meeting that took place in a building next to the river.  I packed my running clothes in my car and changed in the parking lot.  It was hot so the run was not the most comfortable, but the river made it tolerable.  I finished the "Hunger Games" trilogy and started up the latest Sookie Stackhouse novel.  This will be the 6th book I have "read" during the training.  


I have only a few short runs to complete this week and even fewer next week.  This process is coming to it's end very soon.

Week 16 - Day 3 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park to Bridge Loop to East Spring Water Corridor

Distance: 23.10 Miles

Total Time: 4:36:31

Pace: 11:58

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 4

Week 16 - Day 3 - 23 Miles

"Experience has taught me how important it is to just keep going, focusing on running fast and relaxed. Eventually [pain] passes and the flow returns. It's part of racing." - Frank Shorter

Today we were reunited with the ever changing weather patterns in Portland Oregon.  We were on the trail by 10 am, running under a gloomy yet stunningly gorgeous sky.  The wind resistance was a bit harsh as we rounded the bridges the first time but not terribly cold.  However, on our way back across the Hawthorne Bridge the rain started.  Not just the drizzle that is most common to this area, but large, bloppy, drippy, splashy droplets.  Lots of them.  By the time we completed our second round of the bridges we looked like we had jumped in a pool.  

This was at 10 miles and we were headed back towards the car, not to get in it, but to run past it towards Gresham for the second leg of the journey.  The fact that we were dripping wet and miserable began to play in my brain.  I thought, "nobody expects us to continue to run through this."  But ultimately I knew that it didn't matter that nobody expected anything from me, I mean who really cares anyway right?  But I suddenly realized that it mattered to ME, a lot.  As if the Universe could read my thoughts, the sky stopped dumping water upon us and I saw blue sky to my right.  This happened just in time, about half a mile from the car, plenty of distance for me to build my confidence back up.  We sailed past the car feeling pretty decent, if wet, and never considered going back. 

As usual, by the 15th mile I was not feeling strong.  There were still 8 miles to go and I was running AWAY from the car and my right earphone had stopped working at mile 9.  So on it went until mile 20 and we stopped to fill up our water bottles and use the bathroom.  I was not feeling well at all and concerned that maybe I should consider walking.  But fortunately Justin was strong and determined and I allowed his momentum to push me back into a run.  As we entered Sellwood, the portion of the trail that goes through a (very cute!) neighborhood, I was suddenly able to push my legs again, rather then drag them. I found myself allowing them carry me along, like the wind, all the way down to the curve in the trail and the end of the run.  

Or maybe it was just downhill and I had no strength to resist gravity.

Either way I finished, at a pace of 11:58 minutes per mile.  Today I felt that my training was really starting to pay off, that even though I hurt and have had a few slow runs, my body is getting stronger and my legs are getting faster.  I was hoping for excellence today and I must say I am feeling smugly proud tonight.


They have hung the signs for the marathon along the waterfront downtown.  2 weeks to go!

Week 16 - Day 2 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 4.02 Miles

Total Time: 41:13

Pace: 10:15

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 5

Week 16 - Day 2 - 4 Miles

"To know you are one with what you are doing, to know that you are a complete athlete, begins with believing you are a runner." 
- George Sheehan


Today I ran like I had something to prove, until my chest heaved and my feet barely touched the ground.  It was a rare sort of run when I am in no mood to take my time.  It was Saturday morning, I had plans later.  


It was almost 80 degrees and I was drenched in sweat by the end.  I am glad I ran on what was most likely that last hot day of the year, just to prove that I can if I have to, and I had to.  It is Saturday and tomorrow is long run day.  23 miles, the last long run before the race.  I pushed this short run to the very last day and there was no time to frack around.

Week 16 - Day 1 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 4.01 Miles

Total Time: 52:22

Pace: 13:03

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 4.5

Week 16 - Day 1 - 4 Miles

"To get to the finish line, you'll have to try lots of different paths." - Amby Burfoot

There is an area in Portland called Laurelhurst.  It is Keri's neighborhood.  Keri used to run around her neighborhood often.  She loved living there.  It is a perfect neighborhood.  The trees cover the streets, the houses are set up and have wide covered porches.  It is completely enchanting.  It even includes a park that was modeled after Central Park in NYC. 

I had no set course and simply ran up and down, around and over every street I discovered.  The streets wind up and down so my pace was pretty slow but I decided not to mind.  I thought about Keri and how proud she would be of me.  She probably would have been running the marathon with me.   I miss her a lot.  I am so grateful for the short time I got to spend with her.  She had a laid back energy and an absolutely perfect sense of humor.  I don't think I would be running this race if I had never met her.  She got me started and gave me confidence and inspired me to do more than I ever thought I could.  Today I ran through her streets, to let her know I think about her every time I tie up my shoes.

Week 15 - Day 2 - Stats

Location: River Loop to E Spring Water Corridor

Distance: 18.46 Miles

Total Time: 04:06:52

Pace: 13:23

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 2.5

Week 15 - Day 2 - 20 Miles

"My shoes are the one thing I know I'll take on the road besides my guitar. I've run in the Alps on tour with Joan Baez, along the canals in Cambridge, England, and put lots of miles behind me all over the States." - Josh Ritter, singer/songwriter 


If you have been paying attention you will notice that I have only been running twice a week for the past 2 weeks.  This has me seriously concerned.  I feel that I am slowing down just when I should be speeding up.  My pace is climbing back up as well. Not only that but yesterday I slugged around all day and managed to eat every spec of junk food we had in the kitchen.  What is going on?  It's like some part of me is on strike, had enough of this kick-ass fitness queen and is demanding the resurgence of the slug.  Nevertheless, Sunday dawned and the kick-ass fitness queen was up and at it.  I decided to attempt another 20 miles. 


The first 12 miles were amazing.  I felt strong, engaged and in charge.  After that I began to slow down and my body began to hurt.  I pushed and pushed until I had nothing left.  That was around 15 miles.  After that I had one more powerful surge, almost a sprint for about a mile and then it all ran out.  I was completely wasted, hurting and done.  I still had another 2 miles back to the car and Justin to pick up at the airport so I had to walk as fast as I could to stay on the day's schedule.  I tried not to feel defeated.  I had run 18.46 miles.  It was no failure by anyone's standards....anyone's but mine that is.  


That is when the internal dialog got tense.  


I know with 100% confidence that I will finish the marathon.  Whether I finish it in peak performance or am dragging myself to the finish line with my arms is still TBD.  Next week I will definitely get my 2 short runs in and then complete my last long run before the big day.  23 miles.  I know that I am a perfectionist and will want that last long run to be excellent, but I also know that I am human and new at this.  I will do my best, which is all I can ever do.  I have come a long way and there is room to grow.  That perfect marathon is out there, whether I achieve it on October 9th or on a future race is part of the grand adventure.

Week 15 - Day 1 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 5.03 Miles

Total Time: 01:00:05

Pace: 11:56

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 5

Week 15 - Day 1 - 5 Miles

"I ran to be free; I ran to avoid pain; I ran to feel pain; I ran out of love and hate and anger and joy." - Dagny Scott, Runner's World Complete Book of Women's Running 


Thank goodness for cooler temperatures!  Tonight's run was a pleasure.  It has been a while since I truly enjoyed a short run.  Lately it has felt a bit like drudgery.  Tonight I feel revived and excited about this process again.  I am noticing that my body is wanting to go back to its old sedentary lifestyle lately.  Well it's either my body or my brain.  I can't tell where the desire to lay around and do nothing comes from.  I wonder if I will ever know.  What I DO know is that it is getting harder and harder to drag my ass out there.  I think the excitement of the early days of training and the satisfaction of the subsequent milestones has worn off and I am getting tired.  I wonder if I will get revived in the last weeks before the event...we will see.

Week 14 - Day 2 - Stats

Location: River Loop

Distance: 10.00 Miles

Total Time: 02:02:39

Pace: 12:16

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 4

Week 14 - Day 2 - 10 Miles

"For every runner who tours the world running marathons, there are thousands who run to hear the leaves and listen to the rain, and look to the day when it is suddenly as easy as a bird in flight." - George Sheehan 


Tonight was another 10 miler around the river.  This is by far my favorite running route, especially at sunset.  I crave the site of the river.  I have begun to realize during the last 14 weeks that someday I want to live on a river.  I understand there are things such as floods but maybe I will just live in an RV so that I never need to worry about property damage.  


It is starting to get darker noticeably sooner and hard to believe that Summer is coming to an end.  It is even harder to believe that I ran my way through it.  I am definitely feeling weary of it all.  I might even look back on this week as one of the hardest. I am just not comfortable in heat, not in any part of myself.  I am truly happy that I live in a place where it remains cool for the majority of the year.  This might explain while in all the years that I lived in SoCal I never managed more then a brisk walk.


Tonight I ran 10 miles and those 2 hours felt far less uncomfortable then the first 60 seconds I ran consecutively a year and a half ago.  Regardless of how weary I may be, I will never be that weary again.

Week 14 - Day 1 - Stats

Location: 24 Hour Fitness

Distance: 5.00 Miles

Total Time: 01:00:00

Pace: 12:00

Sound Track : Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 3

Book Rating: 4

Week 14 - Day 1 - 5 Miles

"Winning has nothing to do with racing. Most days don't have races anyway. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism, and never, ever, ever giving up." - Amby Burfoot, The Runner's Guide to the Meaning of Life


I must have some sort of runner's amnesia because after that punishing long run here I go again.  It is very hot in Portland.  The only tolerable times to run are very early and very late...not ideal during the work week.  Tonight Justin and I went to 24 Hour Fitness with a free pass we found on the internet just so we could run indoors.  I am still in the grip of recovery so my body was a little pissed at me but I got through it.

Week 13 - Day 3 - Stats

Location: Spring Water Corridor to Gresham

Distance: 22.71 Miles

Total Time: 04:55:21

Pace: 12:41

Sound Track : Chasing Fire by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 2.5

Book Rating: 4

Week 13 - Day 3 - 23 Miles

"I definitely want to show how beautiful the marathon can be. I am the opponent of all those who find the marathon bad: the psychologists, the physiologists, the doubters. I make the marathon beautiful for myself and for others. That's why I'm here." - Uta Pippig, the first woman to win the Boston Marathon three consecutive times 

I had exactly 5 hours to run 23 miles.  My niece would be arriving at Union Station at exactly 11:30 am, which meant being on the trail precisely at 6:30 am.  No time to eat, no time to drink much other then a double shot of espresso.  Prep began the previous day when I scarfed down an entire box of Kraft Mac'n'Cheese and about 4 hard ciders.  The benefit of the early start was a gorgeous sky and very cool temps.  A high of 95 was in the forecast.  

I started to run. On it went....on and on and on and on.  23 miles is a very long way.  In fact it is almost as far as the distance between Fullerton CA and the heart of LA.  Turns out that the exact distance between those two cities is......you guessed it.....26.2 miles on the dot (I looked it up).  

By the 17th mile I was really loosing steam and I believe that is precisely when the Mac'n'Cheese and hard cider ceased to assist me.  I pushed as hard as I could but was not able to hasten my pace by even a millisecond.  That is the moment when this game gets serious.  The emotions range from fear to frustration to anger to surrender.  This happens with every single strike of my shoe on the ground, this entire range of emotions.  This moment in the long run is when you decide if it is worth it.  

Week 13 - Day 2 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park

Distance: 4.02 Miles

Total Time: 45:27

Pace: 11:18

Sound Track : Chasing Fire by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 3

Book Rating: 4

Week 13 - Day 2 - 4 Miles

"I run on the road, long before I dance under the lights." - Muhammad Ali, American former boxer and three-time World Heavyweight Champion 

Sometimes it seems harder to get out the door for a run under 5 miles then it is for a run over 15 miles...even harder to keep writing about it.

Week 13 - Day 1 - Stats

Location: Jackson Middle School Track

Distance: 4.03 Miles

Total Time: 43:00

Pace: 10:40

Sound Track : Chasing Fire by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 4

Book Rating: 4

Week 13 - Day 1 - 4 Miles

"Your body will argue that there is no justifiable reason to continue. Your only recourse is to call on your spirit, which fortunately functions independently of logic. " - Tim Noakes, author of Lore of Running 


Today I achieved a PR for pace.  I am edging ever closer to that 10 minute mile.  I am finding that my lungs are stronger then I thought and I can push my pace just to the edge of getting winded and it is really not a lot harder then taking an easy pace.  After the run my lungs felt like they had been stretched, it was a wonderful sensation.  I have not pushed my pace since my knee started hurting so it's good to challenge myself again.  


I bought new socks and a new knee brace last night.  I am starting to get blisters and have realized that there is a good reason for actual "running" socks. I lost a toenail this week because a blister had formed behind it.  The fancy socks have "moisture control" which keeps your feet dry and is supposed to prevent blisters.  My new brace is even more exciting because it has a ring of gel surrounding my knee cap which should prove more comfy then the rubber my current brace has.


This is another big week as far as distance is concerned.  Sunday will be 23 miles.  While I know I can do it, the doubts are starting to form in my head (though much more quietly then they used to).  This will be the second to last PR distance run before the marathon.  This journey is winding down.  Good thing there is another marathon right around the corner...

Week 12 - Day 3 - Stats

Location: Oaks Park, River Loop

Distance: 12.02 Miles

Total Time: 2:25:58

Pace: 12:08

Sound Track : Chasing Fire by Suzanne Collins

Run Rating : 4.5

Book Rating: 4.5