Week 5 - Day 2 - 4 Miles

"I always loved running...it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs." - Jesse Owens

I've been reading lots of "motivational" quotes on running as I have been keeping this blog. Some of them really excite me but others completely terrify me. I have been contemplating this lately as I think about my runs. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I "forget" the pain when running in the same way a woman "forgets" childbirth. I suddenly realized that the last time I felt the way I have since I began my training was when I was pregnant. I don't know how it is for all pregnant women, but I fretted quite often about my ability to push a baby out of my body. I am finding myself fretting almost as much about the marathon. I (again) wonder if other runners feel like I do. Every time I have these doubts I feel like a "fake" athlete, because a "real" athlete would never feel weak or doubt their own strength. It is much the same as the way I feel about myself as "fake" database programmer. How could I possibly be smart enough to do that all day? how could I possibly be strong enough to run a marathon? I am disturbed at my lack of self-confidence.